Having real faith in the midst of trial

 We all go through trials in life some more painful than the others. The past few months I’ve been in a trial and let's just say it been a really painful one. I've always known that I had faith but to put that faith to work is a lot harder then I could ever imagine, I understand now why it is so important that our house should be built on the rock. Matthew 7:24-27 24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” You see when the fires and the floods come we need to fix our eyes on Jesus I can't tell you how important this is. I found myself looking at other things like my circumstances the fear was gripping me so tight that I took my eyes off of Jesus and it wrecked me whenever I did that I have the worst depression I felt like I couldn't breathe the fear was controlling me. I had to put my faith to work I had to constantly fix my eyes to Jesus, that's how I dealt with the fear. Because He already conquered. I guess I should explain what I've been going through the past few months now. It'll start back in November 2019, I ended up taking a fall and I thought I was fine but each week that went by started to lose strength in my left side and if you know anything about my story I have a spinal cord tumor and that is a symptom. So instantly I developed a panic I got angry and the anger got worse. I would get so frustrated with my left side that I would punch myself and I developed bruises which I'm ashamed of doing. February was my worst month where it was hard to walk, hard to open things. I ended up having to get an MRI which was at the beginning of March following that I had to meet with my new neurosurgeon this was on March 13 one of the most painful days of my life. I remember sitting in the room waiting for him to come in and just feeling sadness and fear when he came in he told me my worst fear this was my nightmare. He told me that my tumor has grown a little and that I need to look at options for surgery, chemo, radiation, remember my heart falling out of my chest. It's crazy in the midst of all of that God was with me and he still is now. Let's just say I couldn't sleep thoughts would constantly run through my head what is my family gonna do without me I’m not ready to die. Instead of having peace I was in chaos. I had to put my faith in work and remember that God can move mountains! And of course that whatever happens He's already won! He has Concord death. I do believe that God is going to move this Mountain! Matthew 17:20, 20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Right now I'm waiting upon the Lord praying with the expectation that God is going to heal me once again. Because strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord! I'm going to attach a video back in 2017 when I played everlasting God on the drums in Remembrance that all things are possible as long as we have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ because He can move mountains!  

                    Forever His,

                    Maddie Cansler